FOR ANYONE WHO STOPS

  to pick up litter when they see it—

  thanks for taking a second to make

  the world a cleaner, healthier space

  ****

  • THE SCOUTS •

  VAMPYRA may be a vampire, but that doesn’t mean she wants your blood. Gross! In fact, she doesn’t even like ketchup! She loves gymnastics, especially cartwheels, and one of her favorite things is hanging upside down… even when she’s not a bat. She loves garlic in her food and sleeps in past noon, preferring the nighttime over the day. She lives in Castle Dracula with her mom, dad (Dracula), and aunts, who are always after her to brush her fangs and clean her cape.

  WOLFY and his family live high in the mountains above Castle Dracula, where they can get the best view of the moon. He likes to hike and play in the creek and gaze at the stars. He especially likes to fetch sticks with his dad, Wolf Man, and go on family pack runs, even if he has to put up with all of his little brothers and sisters. They’re always howling when he tries to talk! Mom says he has his father’s fur. Boy, is he proud of that!

  FRANKY STEIN has always been bigger than the other monsters. But it’s not just his body that’s big. It’s his brain and his heart as well. He has plenty of hugs and smiles to go around. His dad, Frankenstein, is the scoutmaster, and one of Franky’s favorite things is his well-worn Junior Monster Scout handbook. One day Franky is going to be a scoutmaster, like his dad. But for now… he wants a puppy. Dad says he’ll make Franky one soon. Mom says Franky has to keep his workshop clean for a week first.

  CHAPTER 1

  BARON VON GRUMP STARED AT the letter in his hand.

  “This can’t be right,” he said. “This can’t be right at all.”

  “Caw?” asked Edgar, his pet crow.

  “Yes, here!” said Baron Von Grump. “To this very place. To our windmill!”

  “Caw?”

  “When?” said Baron Von Grump. “Why, I haven’t the slightest idea. She could show up at any moment. She could be almost here. She could be passing through the village at this very second!”

  “Caw!” said Edgar. He flew to the windowsill and peered out over the village.

  Baron Von Grump stared at the letter again.

  “An extended stay,” he moaned. “To visit the countryside.”

  He collapsed into his favorite chair and groaned.

  “Caw?” asked Edgar.

  “That’s it!” said Baron Von Grump, jumping out of his seat. “That’s exactly it, Edgar! We’ll pack up and leave. We’ll hang a sign on the door that says, ‘Not home, gone away.’ Why, she’ll have no choice but to turn around and go right back to her noisy, busy, hustle-and-bustle city. Hurry, Edgar, we must be quick. There’s no telling when she might—”

  Three loud knocks at his front door interrupted him.

  “Arrive,” grumbled Baron Von Grump, falling back into his chair.

  * * *

  But wait, what about the Junior Monster Scouts? Where are they? Why are we reading about Baron Von Grump? This book series isn’t called the Baron Von Grump series, is it? No, of course not! It’s called the Junior Monster Scouts series, and that’s who we really want to read about. What’s that? You want to know who is knocking at Baron Von Grump’s door? All in due time, but first let’s see what our favorite Junior Monster Scouts are up to on this nice sunny day.

  * * *

  “Okay, Little Junior Monster Scouts,” said Vampyra, “let’s try the scout oath.”

  “Repeat after us,” said Franky.

  “After us,” said Wolfy’s little sister Fern and the rest of the cubs.

  “No, repeat what we say,” Wolfy said.

  “What we say,” said Fern and the cubs.

  “No, repeat the oath,” said Vampyra.

  Fern scratched her head.

  “But we don’t know it,” she said.

  Wolfy rolled his eyes.

  “That’s what we’re trying to teach you,” he said.

  “This is very confusing,” said Fern.

  As you can see, Vampyra, Franky, and Wolfy were trying very hard to teach the newly created Little Junior Monster Scouts the scout oath. Perhaps you and I could recite it together? After all, by reading these books, you are an honorary scout. Yes, of course you are! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have fur, or claws, or pointy teeth. What matters is that you are kind, and helpful, and follow all the other Scout Laws that are at the back of this book. But first, let’s start with the oath. Ready? Okay, repeat after me:

  I promise to be nice, not scary. To help, not harm. To always try to do my best. I am a monster, but I am not mean. I am a Junior Monster Scout!

  CHAPTER 2

  BARON VON GRUMP DID NOT answer his door right away. He hoped that if he ignored the knocking, whoever was at his door would go away.

  Knock, knock, knock.

  He knew exactly who was at his door.

  KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

  And he knew that she would not go away, no matter how much he hoped she would.

  KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

  But he tried anyway. It didn’t work.

  “Oh, cousin,” called a voice from below Baron Von Grump’s window. “I know you’re in there! I’ve come such a long way to see you, and it would be very nice if you would OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!”

  Baron Von Grump jumped out of his seat. Edgar flew straight up into the rafters and bumped his head. Baron Von Grump rushed down the stairs and threw the door open. There, standing on his NOT WELCOME mat was none other than his cousin, the very frightening, always scowling, super-stern—

  “Baroness Von Grumpier,” said the baron, “how… nice… to see you.”

  Baron Von Grump smiled at her as best he could. It was really the tiniest of smiles. No more than one twitch of one side of his lips. It was really the best he could do.

  Baroness Von Grumpier did not smile back.

  That’s rather rude, don’t you think? Most people at least smile back when you smile, even if it’s a little smile. Let’s try it. Is there anyone around you now? Try smiling at them. Tell them it’s nice to see them. Did they smile back? They probably did. It’s a nice thing to do. If they didn’t, well… I’d keep your eye on them if I were you.

  “Take this suitcase,” said Baroness Von Grumpier. She thrust a large piece of luggage into Baron Von Grump’s hands. “And this one. And this satchel. This trunk. These bags. And this box.”

  Baron Von Grump could not even see over the pile of bags and boxes and satchels and suitcases. Why, it was a wonder he could even fit through the door. But fit through the door he did, and Baroness Von Grumpier followed with empty hands. Almost empty. She held a large, warty, frowning toad in one hand.

  “Croak,” said the toad.

  “I quite agree, Wilma,” said Baroness Von Grumpier. “This place is even worse than it appears from the outside. You live in quite the dump, cousin.”

  Baron Von Grump gritted his teeth. He flared his nostrils. He tugged at his ears and pulled on his beard, but he did not say anything back. At least not anything that might make his cousin even crankier than she already was. He dared not do that. Baron Von Grump knew better. Baroness Von Grumpier was known among all the Von Grumps as being the crankiest Von Grump there was.

  Instead, he forced another smile, this one with a twitch of both corners of his lips.

  “Care for some tea?” he said.

  Baroness Von Grumpier’s eyes narrowed, and her lip curled.

  “I hate tea,” she said.

  “Milk?”

  “I’d rather drink pond water,” she sneered.

  Baron Von Grump twisted the ends of his mustache. He was not feeling well at all.

  CHAPTER 3

  “SO WHAT ELSE ARE WE going to do today?” asked Fern. Fern was Wolfy’s little sister. She and the rest of the wolf cubs had just recently become Little Junior Monster Scouts. Little Junior Monster Scouts were Junior Monster Scouts in training. When they got bigger, they could be full scouts, just like Wolfy, Franky, and Vampyra! They had recently learned the scout oath. It had taken them several tries, but hey—practice makes perfect, right?

  “Today,” said Vampyra, “we are going to clean up the Crooked Trail.”

  “Someone has been littering,” said Franky. He picked up a cheese wrapper and a tin can and dropped them into the trash bag he was carrying.

  “Look at all this garbage!” said Wolfy. “Who would do this?”

  “A monster!” said Fern. All the other cubs nodded and howled in agreement.

  “You know we are monsters, right?” Wolfy asked.

  “Oh yeah,” said Fern.

  “Maybe if we follow the trail of trash, we’ll find out who’s been littering,” said Vampyra.

  “Great idea!” said Franky.

  Vampyra, Franky, and Wolfy led the way. Fern and the rest of the cubs followed. Every time they came to an old stinky sock, or a brown banana peel, or a wadded-up napkin, they stopped and picked it up. Fortunately for them, Franky’s uncle, Igor Senior, and Franky’s grandfather, Doctor Frankenstein, had made them windup garbage scoopers. All they had to do was turn the crank and scoop, scoop, scoop! The metal jaws swallowed up the trash and dropped it into their bags. No monster wanted to soil their paws on a slimy banana peel or stinky sock. Gross!

  They did this all the way down the Crooked Trail, Junior Monster Scouts on one side of the trail and Little Junior Monster Scouts on the other side. They found all kinds of junk that needed to be collected. Springs , old cans, apple cores, and broken shoelaces. But when they reached the beginning of the Gloomy Woods, the trash trail stopped.

  “That’s weird,” said Wolfy.

  “Guys, look,” said Franky. He pointed to a pile of cheese crumbs on the side of the road.

  “Who do we know who loves cheese more than anything?” Vampyra asked.

  Do you know who loves cheese more than anything? Can you remember who is always chomping on cheese? I’ll give you a hint. They have long whiskers and longer tails, and the answer rhymes with “bats.”

  You guessed it—rats!

  “Something tells me that Boris and the rest of his crew are behind this,” said Franky.

  Boris was the lead rat. He and the other rats lived in the basement of Castle Dracula, ever since the Junior Monster Scouts’ first adventure and run-in with Baron Von Grump.

  “Let’s go find out,” said Wolfy. “Follow me. I can sniff out their cheese tracks.”

  The cheese crumbs led Wolfy and the scouts away from the Crooked Trail, away from the Gloomy Woods, and out toward the edge of the cliffs.

  * * *

  Meanwhile… back in Baron Von Grump’s windmill, the baron was having a very hard time. First he had put all of Baroness Von Grumpier’s things upstairs. Her luggage and satchel and trunk and bags and box. Then Baroness Von Grumpier wanted them downstairs. Baron Von Grump moved her luggage and satchel and trunk and bags and box all back downstairs. Then back upstairs. Then back downstairs.

  “I simply cannot make up my mind,” said Baroness Von Grumpier.

  “I noticed,” said Baron Von Grump. He wiped several beads of sweat from his forehead.

  “Croak,” said Wilma.

  “Yes, of course,” said Baroness Von Grumpier. “All this moving and unpacking has made me awfully hungry. I wonder, cousin, do you have any cheese to snack on? That is what these villagers are known for, isn’t it?”

  Baron Von Grump was about to answer when Edgar settled on his shoulder.

  “Caw, caw,” said Edgar into Baron Von Grump’s ear.

  “Oh, you’ve outdone yourself, my feathered friend,” he said. As Edgar suggested, if he claimed to have no cheese, he’d have to go into the village to buy some. And if he had to go to the village to buy some, he would not be around Baroness Von Grumpier, who was already driving him bonkers.

  More bonkers than the villagers, and that was saying a lot!

  “Cheese it is, cousin,” said Baron Von Grump. “Edgar and I will fetch the village’s finest cheese. In the meantime, make yourself at home.”

  CHAPTER 4

  IF BARON VON GRUMP HAD known what was going to happen, he never would have told Baroness Von Grumpier to make herself at home. But he didn’t know, and so he said it, and then he and Edgar were off on a leisurely walk to the village. He wanted to take as long as he could, so he didn’t take his horse and cart. That was another mistake.

  * * *

  Wolfy followed the trail of cheese crumbs. It led the Junior Monster Scouts and the Little Junior Monster Scouts out to Stargazer’s Point. (You may have guessed why it is called that—it is the absolute best place to lie back and watch the stars! Have you ever stargazed? Have you ever looked out into space and just enjoyed all those twinkling stars? Next time you do, see if you can connect the dots and create shapes. Some of those shapes are called constellations. Maybe you’ll see a dragon, or a two-headed chicken, or maybe even a spider playing a banjo on the back of a hippopotamus!)

  Where were we? Oh yes…

  Wolfy led them out to Stargazer’s Point, and sure enough, Boris and the rats were there. They were feasting on cheese and lying about, surrounded by a small collection of garbage.

  “Hey, Junior Monster Scouts!” said Boris. His cheeks were packed with cheese. “What brings you all the way out here?”

  “You do,” said Vampyra.

  “Well… your littering does,” said Franky.

  “Yeah,” said Wolfy. “What’s with all the trash?”

  “What, this stuff?” asked Boris. He picked up a fish bone and sniffed it. “Only two weeks old! Man, these villagers throw away the best things.”

  “What are you doing with it?” asked Vampyra.

  “And why is it all over the road?” Franky asked.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to lug this stuff all the way out here?” asked Boris. “We must have dropped some along the way.”

  “But you didn’t answer our other question,” said Wolfy. “What in the world are you doing with all this trash?”

  “One man’s trash is another rat’s treasure,” said Boris. He tossed the fish bone to one of the other rats. “We’re building a nest. Time we moved out of Castle Dracula and built our own home.”

  “Out of trash?” Fern asked.

  “We’d rather refer to it as ‘recycled discarded hodgepodge,’ ” Boris said. “Ain’t that right, lads?”

  All the other rats nodded and chewed their cheese and occasionally burped.

  “I’ve got an idea,” said Franky. “If you help us clean up all the trash—”

  “Recycled discarded hodgepodge,” Boris said.

  “All the recycled discarded hodgepodge,” continued Franky, “we’ll help you build your nest.”

  “What do you say, lads?” Boris asked the rats.

  “Sounds good to us, boss,” said another rat.

  The rest of the rats nodded.

  “All right, Junior—and Little Junior—Monster Scouts,” said Boris. “You’ve got yourselves a deal.”

  CHAPTER 5

  IF YOU WERE STANDING OUTSIDE Baron Von Grump’s windmill at this particular moment, you would have heard an unusual sound. Well, unusual for the windmill. The kind of sound that one would not expect to hear coming from inside Baron Von Grump’s windmill: whistling.

  Yes, you heard me correctly. Whistling. A cheerful, high-pitched tune being whistled. Of course, we know it was not Baron Von Grump. He was in the village buying cheese. That must mean that it was none other than Baroness Von Grumpier.

  Baroness Von Grumpier whistling? A cheerful whistling? That can’t be right. She’s supposed to be even grumpier than the baron. And that’s a LOT of grump.

  But that’s exactly who it was, and that’s exactly what she was doing. However, it wasn’t exactly because she was cheerful. No, her whistling was because she was doing something awful, something she knew would annoy her cousin so much that he would grit his teeth, and flare his nostrils, and maybe even tug on his beard. That made Baroness Von Grumpier smile, and that was why she whistled.

  “Croak,” said Wilma.

  The large, warty toad sat on Baron Von Grump’s pillow, watching Baroness Von Grumpier as she flitted about the windmill, whistling. That doesn’t sound very awful, does it? Well, that is because I haven’t told you the rest of what she was doing. Baroness Von Grumpier was gathering all of Baron Von Grump’s things and putting them in one big pile.

  “I quite agree, Wilma,” said Baroness Von Grumpier. “Good riddance to all this rubbish.”

  “Croak,” said Wilma.

  “Oh yes, I nearly forgot,” said Baroness Von Grumpier. She snatched Baron Von Grump’s favorite picture off the wall, the picture of a young (happy) Baron Von Grump playing his violin, and threw it into the pile.

  But that’s so mean, you might say. See? I told you that she was doing something awful, and that she was a very grumpy, very miserable person. Don’t let her whistling fool you. But then she did something even more awful than throwing the picture into the pile.

  “Croak,” said Wilma.

  “Of course! Ah, what would I do without you, Wilma?”

  Baroness Von Grumpier picked up Baron Von Grump’s most prized possession. His favorite thing in the whole world. The only thing that ever gave him any joy.

  You guessed it.

  She picked up Baron Von Grump’s violin, and without a second thought, she tossed it right over her shoulder. It landed atop the pile with a loud KER-SPLOING! as two of the strings snapped.

 

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