Trigger, p.1
Trigger, page 1
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FOR BREE
Running. Running.
Pounding fast through the grass. Slamming the ground with every step—
Shut up!
Anybody could hear her and Didi wasn’t dealing with an anybody.
No idea where to look, no idea where to go, bullet bigger than a chess pawn waiting for her neck.
Slideslipping down, down, down the path and into the field.
Get ready, get ready, get ready, get rea—
Running body, taut and lean—Didi didn’t know what was coming.
Or actually—
she did.
PART 1 DIDI: AGED FIFTEEN
HUNT
“MOVE!”
Didi’s dad ripped the covers off her. Didi quickly whipped her legs down and around the edge of the couch where she slept.
“Get dressed. Now.”
All she had on were the T-shirt and shorts she slept in—where was her camo?
Oh—
—last night changing in the bathroom—it was in there, folded on top of the towels. She better get in the bathroom fast before he—
“Didi! What the hell is taking so long?”
The bathroom door jerked open and there was her dad. But she already had the shirt over her head and down and was pulling up the pants.
“Out. Now. We’re going to hunt.”
Canteens filled. Shotguns out. Combat boots for him, sneakers on Didi. The sneakers got soaked quickly from frost outside, so her feet were freezing, but that didn’t matter. What did?
Bag a deer in one.
That did.
“I got this,” she told her dad. They were out and slipstepping down the wet grassy slope behind the ridge at the yard’s edge. Open fields stretched out down here, rimmed by a forest full of evergreens and oaks that wound back up and around her dad’s property. The October morning was still gray in the dawn, sun not yet up over the ridge to warm it with its pale fall light. Too early in the year for legal hunting season, but that never mattered. They needed meat, and it was in his fields for free.
Quiet now.
Slow steps.
Crouching down low.
What was that?
Over there. A group of delicate shapes.
One white-tailed deer standing apart from her sisters at the littoral of field and wood.
BOOM.
SHOT.
Impact. Didi got her in one.
“Excellent,” said her dad, moving forward. “Come on. We need to bag the meat before you go to school.”
Little rabbit in the wood
RACE
BOOM!
SHOT!
The PE teacher’s start gun went and Didi was off and flying in the small pack of eleventh graders running the mile in the intrasquad meet. The day was unusually freezing with wild red foliage surrounding the track and athletic fields. Didi was in shorts anyway, because what else was she going to wear, the camo? Her sneakers were still damp from the morning hunt but there was no time to think about that because
focus!
Didi was in it to win.
The track was edged with the juniors not running this race, some of her fellow chess club members among them. Pascal, Oscar and Dallin were the loudest to cheer Didi on, excited to see one of their own exhibit physical capabilities.
“Go, Didi!”
“You’re amazing!”
“Get up, get up, get up!” from the gym teacher, who always wanted Didi to beat her own record time.
Didi sprinted easily ahead of the small pack of runners, practically leaping over some of them like a knight on a chessboard. On and on she sprinted. In real life, Didi could run in a near sprint practically forever. But no one else knew that. They just knew they wanted Didi on their team for anything fast. For any sport, really, but her speed was what was useful for today.
No one had a chance to catch her. Didi lapped some of the slowest who lagged behind the pack, kids who did not care in the least about this race and were just jogging slowly along, talking about clothes.
The finish line was up ahead. Red-pinnied teammates waiting for her, screaming her name. Faster sprint for the end of such a short run—
She heaved her chest forward, and it was done.
“Four thirty-nine! Fantastic time!” screamed the PE teacher.
Fantastic? Not really. Maybe for their teeny rural Carthage Town school, but Didi knew she’d have way more competition somewhere else.
Still, the PE teacher moved to slap her on the back. Didi was too quick for her and shifted away. The teacher dropped her hand and shook her head. “Why you won’t join cross country or track is beyond me,” she began, but Didi was already angling away from the red-team people coming at her—
“Great job, Didi!”
“You are so damn fast!”
Oh God, Dallin squirming forward to hug her—
Didi backed up and away from them and they raised their hands to slap hers with congratulations.
Back up. Back up.
Didi backed up faster and faster until she could turn and jog away. Jogging, jogging, and then she was running, away from the team, the track and the fields. She ran as fast as she could toward the locker room. PE was pretty much over anyway. Advanced Calc was next. Test in there today. Didi knew she better be the best with that, too. To the locker room, then, to get dressed.
Though what she really wanted was to keep running right now, fast past the school and the single road of this nothing town. Up, up, up and out until she was gone, was flying, was free.
CHESS
There are a lot of pieces on a chessboard and they move in all different ways. The knight goes two up or over and then one in another direction to make an L, oriented in any fashion. The bishop moves diagonally, as far or as near as they want. And the queen. Queen, queen of the land. She can move in whatever direction she likes. Forward, to the side, diagonally if she wants. Different for the pawns, though. After their first move from their line that protects the big pieces, when they’re allowed to move two squares ahead, pawns can only move one square. And only forward.
Actually, it’s all a little more complicated than this, but that’s enough for now.
Didi, do you want me to—
Quick stride fast, as fast as she could run.
Crash, trip, stumble back up—Didi ran toward the far edge of the field. Trees rimmed its border, evergreens mostly, but also some beech with their leaves shaped like pears. Above her, unbelievably, birds were singing. Robins and sparrows, unmindful of her desperation below.
What do you care about robins and pears?! Focus!
Oh God, why had she run to this field? Leaving her offense open with no defense to speak of? Who knew who was behind her, getting closer and closer?
But Didi’s feet remembered and she ran.
PART 2 DIDI: AGED FIVE
TAUGHT
When her dad was out overnight for supplies, Didi got up early, early, early, hopped into clothes and ran outside around her dad’s property three times, as fast as she could, which to be honest wasn’t fast enough. But Didi was trying. His property was big and part of it snaked into the woods. Didi made herself run in there too, even though a bear had snuck out of those trees once. He was looking for things to eat and Didi was scared of the bear because what if he forgot he liked nuts and berries and decided he liked Didi instead?
But no bear came out today. Last lap run, heart pounding and breathing hard, Didi plopped down on the ground at the edge of the long, stony backyard, right on the ridge over the valley. This early morning was full of birds in the trees and some fog down below, looking like a cloud that fell down. But the sun was shining above her, working to burn that fog away.
Chipmunks skittered in the stones. Bluebirds chirped and also robins—good, loud chirping to show how strong they were. There weren’t any fresh nests, though. Robin nests were long empty, now that it was fall. Pops of blue in the nests in the eaves and trees, beautiful blue eggs, and then baby birds with gawping mouths for feeding—that was in the spring.
The chipmunks were fat and cute.
Didi’s stomach rumbled. She wouldn’t mind having some breakfast, but she thought it would be better to wait for her dad and eat with him. She didn’t have a mom anymore, like some other kids did. Where was she? Didi didn’t know. Brown hair and a long soft sweater. Face as foggy as the valley below.
Maybe she does a secret job and has to be in a disguise, thought Didi. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t come be here.
She hoped her dad would bring home some Lucky Charms with the supplies he was out buying. Didi loved Lucky Charms and played games with the charms in her overfilled bowl. She chased the moon around with her spoon, so it stood just above the rainbow, and then she stuck the clover underneath the rainbow. That was the right way for those three charms to be: How could a clover possibly float higher than the moon? Didi’s favorites were the stars, and she pushed them over to the edge of her bowl soaring over the rainbow and moon. She knew she should make the stars be farther away than she put them, but it wasn’t possible in just a cereal bowl. When her dad wasn’t home, she took the damp stars completely out of the bowl and arranged them at the far end of the kitchen table to show more better where they should actually be.
The hearts and the horseshoes and the hourglasses, though. She was never sure where to put those, so she usually just picked them out and ate them one by one. The balloons, she let float in the milk.
Thinking about those charms made her stomach rumble again. She smooshed it in and thought
No.
No cereal yet. Besides, they didn’t even have any Lucky Charms left.
So Didi sat on the ridge and listened to the birds. She tried to mimic what she heard. She was pretty good at sounding like a robin—cheerily-cheer-up-cheer-up-cheerily-cheer-up! Didi wasn’t trying to trick the robins. She just wanted to learn their song so she could pretend to be one sometimes and play that she was flying across the valley. She had to be muscly and strong because flying looked hard, but then she’d be able to go where she wanted, like a grown-up, if she played Robin. Sometimes she practiced chipmunk sounds too, but they were harder to do, with more clucks and chirrups. The good thing about playing chipmunk was that you could pretend to squeeze into cozy spaces and stay warm and hidden, even in the sun.
little rabbit in the wood
The warmth from running had left Didi’s body now, and her jacket was still in the house. She wanted it even though it was so small that she couldn’t really get all the way in it anymore.
I’m cold. I’m going in to read. Didi couldn’t remember the name of her book, but the story was about a puzzle and some clues. She went inside the house and into the living room with its scratchy wooden walls. Lying on the windowsill, she read and laughed at the funny parts of her book until…RRRRROOOOOM.
Didi snapped her head up. That was truck noise. Her dad was home. She better go help and make it fast. But her dad was through the door and into the living room with a box in his arms before Didi could wheel her feet to the floor.
Her father wasn’t mad, though. Phew.
“What’re you reading, Didi Read-ie?” he rhymed, and she held up the book.
“It’s my favorite forever now,” she said. “It’s about a mystery that people have to solve to find this guy.”
“Huh,” said her father, but she knew he was thinking about the supplies in the truck. She was right. “Come on. There’s stuff to unload.”
“Sure thing,” said Didi, and she shoved the book under the couch and speedy-walked outside again, following her dad. The truck was full of things from the hardware store, mostly, but Didi spotted some new Lucky Charms right away. Plus her dad was happy this morning. Didi already loved the day.
She picked up the boxes her dad set on the ground and ferried them into the kitchen. Didi was a strong little thing, her dad said, and Didi knew he liked that. Even if her running was still slower than he wanted it to be. It was his idea that she run laps around the property when she woke up, to get better. Didi agreed. She was sick of being so slow.
“All right,” said her dad now. “Good job with the carrying.”
Didi stared at her feet and swallowed her smile. Then she looked up at her dad’s face. “Are we going to unpack the boxes now too?” Her book was waiting under the window.
“I’ll unload later, by myself,” said her father. “There are things in those boxes that are just for me. But,” he continued, “what you just said about your book gave me an idea. Something I want to teach you. You’ll like it. It’s a game.”
Didi was silent. She thought about her book.
“Can we play later?” she asked at last, the goodness of the morning making her brave.
“No,” said her dad evenly, glancing above the woodstove. “You’re going to learn now.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Go sit at the table,” said her father. “I’ll get what we’ll need from the closet.”
The closet thing was a game in a box.
“This,” said her father, opening the box, “is a chessboard. The game is called chess. I’ll teach you how to set it up. Then we’ll go through how each figure can move and play a game, if you pick it up as quickly as I think you will.”
Didi swallowed her smile again. Her dad was proud of her as long as she learned things fast.
The board looked easy like a checkerboard, but the game was like way tricky checkers. There were people for pieces instead of squat little pucks, for one thing, and all of them moved different ways. Some of the people were royal, but that didn’t match how they moved. The king could only move one square at a time. It made no sense, plus you had to guard him. The queen was exciting, though! Tall with a cape and a crown. She could move in all the directions, anywhere she wanted. Didi loved her peaceful plastic face. But her favorite pieces were the pawns, with their heads smooth as acorns as they marched uncomplicatedly forth.
“Let’s try a game now,” said her father after he’d gone through all of the moves. “I think you understand enough about the pieces to at least get going. I’ll let you be white this one time. The player with the white pieces always goes first.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” said Didi, and she moved one of her pawns, glancing at her father’s face to make sure she was right. She was. Phew. Her dad moved one of his pawns too, and then they were off, playing for real with Daddy reminding Didi about how the pieces moved when she forgot. It was hard, with that bishop moving only diagonally and that rook going back and forth. The rook looked like a piece of castle. How can a castle piece move? she wondered, but she zipped him across the row, singing out a happy small “Eep!”
Her dad moved his knight and grabbed her queen away. “You weren’t paying attention,” he said. “You’ve got to anticipate moves in this game. I bet you forgot how the knight even moves.”
Didi nodded, cheek in her palm. “I did.”
A few more moves for each of them, and it was done.
“I’m taking your king,” said Daddy grinning. “I won. That’s called a checkmate, and that means I won.”
“You’re so good at this game, Daddy,” Didi said right away. Her dad smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. Didi exhaled and smiled too. Then she went over and put her forehead against her father’s. Both of them moved their heads as close to each other as they could, so it looked to Didi like Daddy only had one giant eye, right in the middle of his forehead.
DOWN
Didi and her dad were walking slap bump down the steep dirt road to the bottom of the hill. The sun was gone, long since fallen down behind the ridge, and the evergreens lining the road were blue and watchful in the dark. Like gigantical pawns guarding a king, Didi thought, and giggled a giggle held quiet in her mouth.
Nobody else was out walking; nobody else was on the road. Only swallows and bats and a few chickadees were out this late, darting like arrows in the trees.
Critchcrunch, critchcrunch.
Didi’s dad’s feet were big.
“Incompetent,” he said. “They have no idea how to run a company. None.”
Didi skidded and slid on the loose stones and pine needles as she hustled to keep up. It was hard work going down the hill, just as hard as climbing up, but Didi was used to it. She walked this same walk down to the bus stop every morning before kindergarten and ran back up it again when the bus dropped her off at four.
“It’d take me less than ten minutes to straighten them out.”
Critchcrunch.
“Five.”
“You’re wicked smart, Daddy. You ought to be the in-charge guy.” Didi’s voice bumped and jottered in time with her stumbly feet.
Her father nodded.
Didi and her dad didn’t walk down the hill every night. Only sometimes, only nights like tonight when her dad threw down his remote and reared up from his chair and said he couldn’t take being inside for one more minute.
“Come on,” he said. “I need a Coke.”
So Didi got out from under the blanket on the couch and got dressed. Her dad stayed in the living room with her while she did, his leg jigging up and down. Then they clomped their way down the hill to get her dad his drink.
