The first in a laugh-out-loud series from the ingenious mind of much-loved children's author Colin Thompson. Nerlin and Mordonna Flood have seven children, most of whom were not created in the traditional way like you or me, but were made in the cellar, using incredible mystical powers, some very shiny Jamie Oliver saucepans and a small chemistry set. The youngest child, Betty, is a normal, pretty little girl - but she's a useless witch. Her attempts at magic often go wrong, with unexpected yet welcome results. The next-door neighbours should've known better than to rob a family of witches and wizards. But they did, and they're about to find out what the Floods do to bad neighbours...

Save the world -- but live forever. Peter and Festival have a terrifying choice to make . . . When Peter and his friend Festival destroyed the book called How To Live Forever so it could no longer work its spell, they didn't know it would have disastrous consequences. Now, Peter's world is in the worst drought ever -- and Festival's world, inside the museum, is drowning. The only solution is to re-create the book. Can they reverse the water flow? And if they re-create the evil book, can they hide it so it can never be read again?

In the final book of the Floods series, the job of running the Kingdom of Transylvania Waters is up for grabs. Who will replace King Nerlin? Nothing lasts forever, not even for Nerlin, King of the wizards. He is bored and tired and wants one of his children to take over as ruler of Transylvania Waters so he can retire to his holiday cottage in the Enchanted Valley and grow chickens. The trouble is, none of the children want the job. But then, out of nowhere, a long lost face from Nerlin's past arrives and everything is thrown into disarray. Who is Gertrude and who will end up ruler of Transylvania Waters? The answers to this - and more - are inside this book . . .

What happens when the King goes Doolally? Find out in the latest Floods adventure. Everyone gets old, even witches and wizards. Their backs get stiff. Their feet get sore, and their brains go and live far, far away. Not even Nerlin Flood, the King of Transylvania Waters, is immune to the curse of old age. The rest of the family have noticed that Nerlin is slipping into total Doolallyness ? he even has an invisible friend called Geoffrey-Geoffrey, who warns him not to eat broccoli because it will give him global warming. Will the Old Crones be able to cure him, or is Nerlin doomed to spend his twilight years talking to the wall, wearing a crooked jacket and incompetence pants? Which is actually a more accurate description of a straitjacket.

In Transylvania Waters Mordonna and Nerlin should be King and Queen. But there are some seriously nasty characters standing in their way . . . After years on the run, the Floods are coming home. And just in time too. Since Nerlin and Mordonna fled Transylvania Waters, things there have gone from worse to much worse. King Quatorze has bled the country dry. He's even sold everyone's shoelaces. It's time for a change, time for life with a lot less cabbage and a lot more chocolate. But first the Floods have to get rid of the old king . . .

Betty and Ffiona cooking dinner? Run for your lives!Betty and her friend FFiona love cooking. The trouble is, they are both so useless at it that their families make themselves ill just to avoid their meals.It isn't that their families are too kind to tell the girls how bad their cooking is - they actually tell them all the time. But Betty and Ffiona don't believe them, and now the girls are planning to open Transylvania Waters's first gourmet restaurant.Queen Mordonna forbids them . . . unless they can prove their cooking skills by winning TV's most popular cooking contest. Will they poison all the judges, or will The Cheffie Olympics be Betty and Ffiona's finest hour?

The very best stories from the bestselling author of The Floods.Sid the mosquito isn't the only one exploring the delights of house Number Fourteen and its overgrown garden. Derek the rat is sniffing out old socks for supper. Ethel the chicken is busy trying to persuade the world she is not an orange, while Arnold the mouse is spending more time in the trap than out of it. Frank the ant has a terrible headache and just wants to be left alone, and Joey the budgie is having a bath in the dog's bowl.Colin's acclaimed stories about the inhabitants of one particular garden are now collected in this newly illustrated special edition.

What do you get when you cross the legendary heroes of Camelot with the legendary humour of Colin Thompson? The Dragons! In the days when dragons roamed the earth turning people into toast, a mighty King ruled the world. This King lived in the great castle of Camelot in the beautiful island of Avalon. Guided by the great wizard Merlin, this King became a legend and his name was Arthur. The trouble with legends is that every time their stories are told they become more and more fabulous, so useless twits are often turned into superheroes.This is the true story of King Arthur, who was not a superhero. He was a nasty little spoilt brat who was totally up himself. Or was he . . .?

The fourth book in Colin Thompson's brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town. The youngest child in the Flood family, Betty, is a pretty little girl, who looks quite normal - unlike some of her brothers and sisters. She goes to the normal primary school down the road and she even has a normal best friend, Ffiona Hulbert. But Betty is not normal - she is a witch. When Bridie McTort, the school bully, starts throwing her weight around, Betty knows exactly what to do. And when Ffiona's dad gets bullied at work, Betty knows how to fix that too. Meanwhile, Winchflat Flood has been watching old Frankenstein movies and has decided he wants to build a human of his own ...

King Arthur has been overthrown. Long live King Arthur! The Dark Ages are over and the wonderful Days of Yore have begun. Everyone is looking forward to a magnificent coronation of the new King Arthur, followed by huge amounts of legendary peace and happiness that will entirely cover the whole of Avalon and there will be purple tights for all. But there is a rebellion in the land. Brat, the old false king, and Bloat, a teenage dragon, have vowed to overthrow the lovely wonderful King Arthur and bring back the Dark Ages. But Morgan le Fey and Sir Lancelot and a thirsty vampire will save the day. Or will they?

The second book in Colin Thompson's brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town. Look through the cobwebbed, murky arched window in deepest Patagonia, and this is what you might see... Every day five of the Flood children travel halfway round the world to Quicklime College, the ultimate school for witches and wizards. There's no time for silly games flying around on broomsticks. Sports day is coming up, and before you even wonder how four-legged Satanella copes with the three-legged race, here's a secret for you. Orkward Warlock, the vilest child in the school, and his sidekick, The Toad, hate the big happy Floods family. And they're plotting to kill the Floods - on sports day.

Arthur has been crowned King and peace and happiness have broken out all over Avalon. Life has never been more peaceful and everyone is living happily ever after. So why are so many people planning rebellion? On one hand, the Dragons are planning an uprising. On the other hand, King Arthur's revolting little cousin Mordred is planning an uprising. And on the other, other hand, Brassica, the deposed fake King Arthur, is planning an uprising. It's lucky that Merlin, who has more than two hands, has everything under control. Or does he?

The Flood family go on holiday to the seaside! It isn't just humans who need time off. Wizards do too - and after all the wild adventures the Floods have been through, two weeks at the seaside is exactly what they need. Of course, where the Floods go, trouble is sure to follow. Will Betty use magic to cheat in the sandcastle competition? Why is Winchflat stuck in the sand with the tide coming in? Will Mordonna take revenge when she sees animals being mistreated in the circus? One thing's for sure. The sleepy town of Port Folio will never be the same . . .

Kids adore Colin Thompson's brand of off-the-planet humour. Now here's an off-the-planet series to make them laugh even more! Radius Limpfast is one of the world's richest men. His reality TV shows have made him billions. The next series is always greater than the one before and yet he is never satisfied. Then one night, after a particularly creative bacon curry, Radius dreams up the ultimate reality show. No matter whatever anyone else comes up with, they will never be able to top it. Radius is going to send a family to the moon. Limpfast TV will pick an ordinary family, just like yours, build a rocket and a big glass dome and put them all together on the moon. And the whole world will be able to tune in and watch them whenever they like. This will be reality TV at its finest. What could possibly go wrong?

With their worst enemy on their trail, the Floods family are on the run and in disguise in the seventh book of this hilarious bestselling series. While the Floods were on holiday with their human friends the Hulberts, the Hearse Whisperer totally destroyed their home back in Acacia Avenue. So now they're on the run again . . . To avoid detection they are, like, totally heavily disguised, man. Yeah, man, it's far out, the Floods have become hippies! Will they end up living a life of love and peace and singing folk songs about rainbows and sunsets? Will they wear flowers in their hair and wear soya-bean sandals? Yeah, right.